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"Come to me."

So I’ve been having a generally up and down kind of time lately.

My eye-lid would tell you that I’m stressed, but I don’t feel like I am. (And if TEE time and Easter Camp 2005 are anything to go by, I know what it looks like when I’m stressed)

Sure, I’ve got things that are on my mind, but I feel like, more than any other time in my life, I really know that God has things sorted out, and no amount of my worrying about anything is really going to make anything better.

But then.. my eye-lid still twitches, and I still feel lonely, confused, depressed and tired (physically and emotionally)

And then I begin to hear, [color=red]”Come to me.”[/color]

[color=red]”Come to me.”[/color]

Then I realise, that I haven’t really surrendered anything to Jesus at all. I just justify in my head that I have. And I keep telling myself that I don’t have to worry, but then I realise that I haven’t really surrendered anything at all.

Then I hear, [color=red]”Come to me.”[/color]

[i]But I don’t know where to find You. I don’t know how to be found by you.[/i]

Yesterday, on a day where everything felt OK, I was hanging out with a mate and we were having a jam on the piano. We were both reminded of a song that we’d once known and heard often, but hadn’t heard in a while – that we wanted maybe to arrange and sing for church sometime.

So we found the words online, and began to play on the piano, to see what we could come up with.

Based on Psalm 91, the song (written by a guy called Lincoln Brewster) is written out here;

[i]I won’t be afraid anymore of the terrors by night
or the arrow that flies by day

And though a thousand may fall at my side
and though ten thousand may fall
In Him I put all my trust

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide in the shadow.

I will hide in your wings always
Your angels stand by to keep me in all my ways

And though a thousand may fall at my side
I will sing “In Him I trust!”

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide in the shadow.[/i]

We ended up with a beautiful little tune, with some bizarre but beautiful chords. It felt pretty special to be able to put something together like that.

So, during a time of offering and prayer last night at church, we were able to sing it as an offering. wow. I got to be totally overwhelmed by the love of God. After we had sung, I tried to put some words together for a prayer, and everything just came out weird coz I was so overwhelmed.

I think it’s because the words of this song a pretty mighty powerful, and I think I’d just come to realise that, there in that moment.

Knowing how crappy I’d been feeling lately, I really wanted to be able to mean it and believe it when I sang “In Him I trust!”

And then I hear [color=red]”Come to me”[/color]

Church “finished” and everyone scattered in different directions and I was left feeling like I wasn’t done yet. I had a few annoying issues on my mind, and just felt totally like I needed to kneel at the foot of the Cross. But even in that, not really wanting to or feeling like I could.

So I went out for supper after church, and was most probably in a really crabby mood, mainly because my mind seemed like it was in such a mess.

Then I hear [color=red]”Come to me”[/color]

I came home.. and even though I felt like I should open my Bible, in my weird stubbornness, that I totally don’t understand, I opened my computer instead.

In a world where there are no coincidences, an email pops up with a quote (emphasis mine);

[color=green]”In place of our [i]exhaustion and spiritual fatigue[/i], God will [i]give us rest[/i]. All He asks is that we [i]come to Him[/i]…that we spend a while thinking about Him, meditat ing on Him, talking to Him, listening in silence, occupying ourselves with Him – totally and thoroughly lost in the [i]hiding place of His presence[/i].”[/color]

What do I hear? [color=red]”Come to me!”[/color]

For some bizarre reason, it must be like I don’t want to or something, because I can’t for the life of me take two minutes to just sit down and even think about the love of God, to even think about his name.

It feels like an endless struggle. I think I need help.
I think I need some desperate prayer.
I’m in this place where I want so desperately to be intimate with my creator, or even just to be able to lay my crap down at his feet, but I just don’t feel like I can.

[i]Lord you know me so well, what the heck is going on?[/i]



3 thoughts on “"Come to me."

  1. hiya

    i love how God calls us to come near…

    psalm 145:18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

    psalm 145:14 The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.

    these 2 verses were in my bible reading last night – i was reminded that all we need to do is trust in God and pray and he is there, our comfort and strength.

    God KNOWS you inside out and upside down, hw many hairs u have on your head, and how many hairs you have on your toes. he knows what the heck is going on… but he may not tell u… he may just ask you to come so he can be with u and minsiter to you and strengthen you for his glory.

    bless u in this time

    Posted by Claire | November 13, 2006, 8:52 am
  2. hello there!

    I’ve been searching for the chords to Lincoln Brewster’s Song “Psalm 91”. If you still have the ones you and your friend came up with, and you’d be willing to share… please email me. I’d love to use them!

    God bless you! You have a beautifully soft heart, and you’re letting God mold you into the woman of God that he made you to be! I can see that just from reading a small bit of your blog.


    Posted by kate | February 12, 2007, 11:26 am
  3. I really know that God has things sorted out, and no amount of my worrying about anything is really going to make anything better.

    Posted by Cheap replica watches | December 25, 2013, 8:30 pm

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Kathleen Johansson

We shall win.

"The decree has gone forth that the kingdoms of this world shall become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ and that He shall reign whose right it is from the River to the ends of the earth. We shall win. It is only a question of time. I believe that this Movement shall inaugurate the final conquest of our Lord Jesus Christ."
- General Catherine Booth

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