I’m finding it hard to put any of my thoughts into any kind of understandable collection of words lately.
I’ve been journaling alot, but find that once I’ve written something, it feels like it’s not really what I wanted to say.
I’ll have conversations with people, and afterwards realise that what I said, was not what I really wanted to say, or that I didn’t get a chance to say what I meant.
But even then, I don’t know what I mean.
Maybe it’s just being back at uni; the fact that I’m having to think about things outside of myself, and they are getting confused with the things inside myself.
And then I find what i really wanted to write about here is that I’ve been feeling extreme loneliness lately. To the point of often crying, and feeling very sorry for myself.
But because I don’t know what that emotion is based on, or why it effects me so much, I don’t know how to talk about it.
And not having anyone to talk to about it, makes me feel even more lonely.
What an interesting Kerfuffle.
And everyone is busy. I’m busy. They’re busy. So noone has time to spend with each other anymore. Spend real time anyway.
Yet, life goes on. Things have to be done, and have to happen.
But when does the crying stop?