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This is the one thing that I ask.

God, you know me so well.
I’m so thankful that even when I struggle to come close to you, you never stop being close to me.
I’m so sorry that most of the time I have my head wrapped up in pride, trying to “hack it” on my own. I’m sorry that I forget that I don’t have any strength apart from the strength that I find in you.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t know who I am.
Sometimes I feel motivated, but sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes I feel sleepy, alone and sorry for myself.
Sometimes I feel happy and free and saved and full of Joy.
Sometimes I feel like I have absolutely no idea how I got to be where I am.
At the same time, I feel absolutely confident that where I am is exactly where I am meant to be.

I have dreams and desires and hopes, but I have a really hard time expressing them.
I sometimes feel trapped and I sometimes feel free, and sometimes, at the same time.
I feel weighed down by the things that I own, and at the same time want for so much more.
I feel sad that I don’t remember things.
I feel happy that I have a family who loves me and cares about me.
I feel energised, but I also feel exhausted.

Sometimes I love being alone, but sometimes I feel lonely.
Sometimes I talk to my fridge; “What’s on special today?”

I don’t understand where I am in my life. But, I love that I’m here.
I feel far away from you Lord, and at the thinnest place between heaven and earth, all at the same time.
I don’t know where I’m going or how I’m going to get there.
I don’t know what I’m excited about, but I know that I am.

Fear tells me that I am the least qualified person to be leading a congregation.
Fear tells me that I am the least qualified person to be preaching to a group of people.
Fear tells me that I am the least qualified person, to be teaching someone else to connect with you, when a lot of the time, I struggle to find a way.

Fear tells me that I don’t know my bible,
Fear tells me that I didn’t concentrate enough in class.
Fear makes me feels like I don’t understand anything at all.

But I do know,
That You Lord are my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear?
I do know,
That You Lord, are the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?
I am here, right now, and there is only one thing that I ask of You Lord,

There is only one thing that I seek;
I seek to;
Dwell in Your house all the days of my life.
I seek to;
Gaze upon Your beauty, and to look for You wherever you are.

I know that when there’s pain and trouble, You’re the one who keeps me safe.
You hide me and protect me, and put me where I can’t get hurt.
You give me a chance to shout for Joy, and I end up singing and making music to praise you with.

Lord, please hear my voice when I call to You, be kind and merciful to me, and answer me.
You have said to me “Seek my face”, and I’ll do it.
Don’t hide from me God, please don’t turn away from me.
You’ve been the one who is there for me. Please don’t reject me, you’re my saviour.
Even when no one else is there to help me, you take me into your open arms and you hold me.

I want you Lord to show me your face. I want to see your beauty. And I don’t want to want anything else as much as I want that.
When I see your face God, I’ll be able to forget all the fears. I’ll be able to forget the anxieties, I’ll be able to forget the weariness that’s gone before.
When I see your beauty Lord, I’ll be able to remember that everything of my future, everything that I can’t see, is in your hands.

I know Lord, that the truth of your word speaks to all of my doubts and fears.
I know Lord, that you have, for some reason, picked me out from the crowd for such a time as this.
I know Lord, that there are things for me to learn and things for me to teach.
I know Lord, that truth and freedom can only be found in you, and all of us are on a journey together to find it.

There is only one thing that I ask of You Lord,
There is only one thing that I seek;
I seek to;
Dwell in Your house all the days of my life.
I seek to;
Gaze upon Your beauty, and to look for You wherever you are.

Help me Lord.

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Discussion

4 thoughts on “This is the one thing that I ask.

  1. Thanks for this. It expresses many things I feel as well. Keep sharing and keep serving Jesus!

    Posted by Heidi | February 6, 2011, 8:41 am
  2. I cried when I read this. You won’t believe it, but I was going for hamburger #2 , feeling frustrated that hamburger #1 hadn’t satisfied me and my disability wasn;t allowing me to stand on my feet and cook some healthy food, and the words “I don’t want to want anything” emerged from my being. It was strange so I wrote it down and typed it in google and your poem came up. It touched me in a way that I can’t tell you. God led me to read this poem and it satisfied me and brought me healing and joy. Thank you!

    Posted by Clare | March 24, 2013, 2:06 pm
  3. Who are you Salvokat? 🙂

    Posted by Clare | March 24, 2013, 2:08 pm

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Kathleen Johansson

We shall win.

"The decree has gone forth that the kingdoms of this world shall become the kingdoms of our Lord and of His Christ and that He shall reign whose right it is from the River to the ends of the earth. We shall win. It is only a question of time. I believe that this Movement shall inaugurate the final conquest of our Lord Jesus Christ."
- General Catherine Booth

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